One feeling explained

'My current life feeling' was going to be the title but now I realise that is too vague as I could actually write a book on that.

I was thinking about where 'home' is. (Where the heart is, I know.)

I don't believe I have had a home for a few years. I currently live in a flat and, to me, that is not a home as it is rented and it has an end period of time when I have to leave, making me unable to settle and rest.

I see myself and my belongings as hovering above the ground. This is just my mental image and feeling so it is a hard one to translate into words to make anyone else understand, but if you follow what I'm saying then, well done. I picture an image of myself and everything that I personally own floating just off the ground, perhaps a foot high. All of my 'things' are scattered around at the flat, my mum's and my dad's. If they were together in one place where I am too, and somewhere preferably permanent so there is no feeling of being unable to relax, then that would be home.

The floating feeling is so that I can hover and wait before the next movement. If I allow myself to relax I won't want to move, even if I know I have to.

Soon I would like to feel safe and in a home.

I hope this doesn't make too little sense. I am hoping to create a piece of artwork on it soon which may demonstrate the feelings in a clearer way.

Bye for now!
xx

Crazy Life Happenings

"Heather" I hear you shout to me through the internetic (that is a word) space, "what is happening with your life?" Well, I'm so glad you asked.

So I started my new job last Thursday. Very exciting, I know. I've done four days now and I'm very much enjoying it. It's got such a relaxed atmosphere and I'm learning lots of new things there and meeting lots of new people and hopefully it's going to be grrrrrrr-eat!

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On another note completely, I am seriously getting addicted to the game 'Match Dots'. Whilst the rest of the world seems to be loving Flappy Bird, I'm here with my dots game going a bit crazy. It's a great game and I'd genuinely recommend it but be prepared for a lot of your time to be taken up playing it.

Another crazy thing going on is that I've got my blog on Blog Lovin' making it easier for you guys to follow me. Therefore giving you no excuse not to follow me to keep updated on the happenings going on here. Seriously, it would make my day. There is a little button down the right hand side of this page where you can click to easily follow my blog. Blog Lovin' is also a great place to have all of your favourite blogs in one place making them much easier to read. If you don't have Blog Lovin' but you do have Google+ then I think you should at least follow me there, that button is also down the right hand side of this page. (I'll stop nagging now ;)).

I've come to realise that I need to give myself some more me time. I have no idea where my time is going lately. Obviously I now have a job which takes up some of my time but seriously, I find myself sleeping, eating and doing some kind of work... Where did the other time go? Having said that, I'm really enjoying everything I'm doing at the moment and I wouldn't really want to change any of it so I just need to find some more time from somewhere. Or can we add a new day to the week? Anyone with enough power in the world to do that? Get back to me if you know how to do this, thanks!

Currently I'm writing this blog post whilst having a break from sorting things for my mum's 50th which is coming up in less than a month now. I can't say what it is because she may be reading this (hi mum!). I have a lot of planning though... There's another thing I need my extra day in the week for.

This isn't the longest blog post and it's not all that interesting but I thought I'd give you a great update on my life.

Bye for now!

Should you go to University or not?

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You've nearly finished your a-levels, work involving coursework and exams seems to be taking over your life - stress overload. It doesn't exactly make the idea of university sound tempting.

But university is more than just work, it's moving out for the first time, fending for yourself, meeting new people, spending a lot of money etc. It's a huge step.

I went through all the motions of thinking about what I wanted to do (art), deciding where I wanted to go (which for art meant doing a foundation course first), applying to the universities, getting in and then realising that it wasn't what I wanted to do. Maybe it was right that I went through all the stress of applying before I decided it wasn't right, but it did seem like an awful waste of time and stress meeting deadlines to then decide to not go at all. It took me a while to realise that rushing into going to university perhaps wasn't the right choice for me - it wasn't until I was talking to someone about how much I was struggling with concentrating on working for my a-levels (which is unusual for me as I always get my work done on time and I loved the subjects I was doing) that they told me that perhaps I was struggling because I was working towards something I didn't want to do and subconsciously I was trying to resist doing this. So I then decided I wasn't going. Or at least not in the foreseeable future.

I thought about it and justified it to myself like this; so I would go to university and get a degree in Fine Art. Then where would I be? I'd have this extra few words on my CV saying that I have a degree but that doesn't guarantee me my ideal job. And what do I even want to be my ideal job? A degree in Fine Art might not get me there anyway, despite my love for the subject.

So I haven't gone to university and I've started my adventure into the big wide world. Sounds scary but it's not at all because I've taken it slowly (very slowly). I have been lucky to have a lot of support from my family. They were a little disappointed that I wasn't going to university but they understood the reasons why I wasn't and supported that (with me telling them that I may go at some point in the future...). I knew I needed to get a job and was handing my CV out everywhere I could whilst also applying online and having little success. This made me think that it was important to build up my CV before I would be able to get myself a job. To do this I applied to do some charity work.

The charities I applied to work for were British Red Cross, in a charity shop, and for Asha Women's centre, helping with the art therapy there. I only starting volunteering for these charities in about September 2013 but I have learnt so much in absolutely no time. Not only have I been helping other people in a number of ways I have also noticed a huge change in myself. I have learnt so much about both of the charities and my contribution to them; working on the shop floor, in the sorting room, steaming clothing etc. at Red Cross and, understanding women I would never have met before, how to help them with art, teaching them techniques with art (using a gentle and relaxed approach in my teaching), learning to listen etc. at Asha Women's centre. As well as these things, I am having to work with the public all the time and my confidence has grown because of it which was something I really needed help with. I have also met numerous people through my charity work who are to important and valuable to me and my future.

As well as the charity work that I started last year, I passed my driving test last December and have recently managed to get a job. Both of these things are huge hurdles for me and are just adding to my confidence (without letting my head grow too much).

So what point am I trying to make whilst I ramble on about what I've been doing and the success I've had so far? Well, I'm trying to show that if I had gone to university I would never have experienced these things (at least for now) and the life experiences that I have already gained in less than 5 months means so much more to me. I would have gone to university as a bundle of stress and probably hit a wall and not reached my potential there anyway. If I decide to go in the future I will have at least been able to clear my head, be able to think sensibly and clearly and actually be able to go with a good idea of how I plan to come out the other side with a goal in life of what I want to do.

Basically, if you have any doubts about university then don't rush into it; it's not for everyone and it's not necessarily the right thing for everyone to go into straight out of school. Whatever you do, don't rush into it and don't let anyone else push you into something you don't want to do. They're not living your life, you are and you need to be happy with what you are doing.

Bye for now!

Please comment with any other points of view that you have on the matter, thanks!

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